Dear Porchie, A Letter on Your 2nd Birthday

Happy 2nd Birthday my baby girl! Saying goodnight to you tonight I couldn't believe I would be getting a two year old out of her crib in the morning. Despite being a highly verbal, potty trained, independent toddler you are still my baby. 

This year you have grown so much it is astounding. You changed from a smily, cuddly baby to a hilarious little girl with a big personality all her own. You are so brave and bold. Today at Hermione's friend's birthday party you wanted to dance with the big kids and insisted on being front and center. You are constantly telling me "no P-sha do it" when I try and put on your shoes, spear food onto your fork, or even press the elevator button. This afternoon you tried to convince me "P-sha by self" when I told you you couldn't ride the elevator upstairs alone. Slow down little one. There is plenty of time for all of that. 

Despite being an independent spirit you are sweet to your core and endlessly loving. The other day at nap time I noticed you sucking your thumb- something I haven't seen since you were an infant. When I asked "Porchie, are you sucking your thumb?" you looked slightly embarrassed, as if caught in some sort of secret single behavior. I assured you it was perfectly ok. Before you got back to it you sweetly suggested, "Mommy do it" and tried to stick my thumb in my mouth sharing some secret pleasure you knew I would enjoy.

Like your sister you are obsessed with movies and insist on me or Daddy laying on your floor at bedtime and quoting Boss Baby, Finding Nemo, Frozen or Trolls until you are sleepy. I think the real reason for this is you don't like to be left alone at bedtime and want company in the room for as long as you can keep us there.

Here's a secret my love. Before you were born I wasn't convinced I wanted another baby. I loved your sister with every inch of my being and couldn't imagine having room to love another child so fiercely. Even as I grew you inside my body I worried. Would I love you as much as I loved Hermione? How could I be mom enough for both of you? Surely someone wouldn't get enough of me. 

The moment you were placed on my chest-huge, with long finger nails and hardly any vernix left from being two weeks overdue I knew I had nothing to fear. In that instant my heart doubled in size and welcomed you in. From that first moment on I have loved you completely. I miss you and physically ache to hold you after a few hours apart. I find myself sneaking into your room at night to lay a hand on your gently rising belly and watch you sleep. When I hold you I inhale deeply trying to memorize the sweet baby smell that diminishes with each passing day. 

Before you were born I was terrified what your arrival would do to your older sister. Hermione was the definition of an only child. Living in the endless glow of all of Mommy and Daddy's affection I couldn't picture her sharing the spotlight. All of my fears were forgotten the minute you two met. Your's has been a true love story. A testament to the love between sisters. Every morning when you wake up Hermione is the first person you want to see. When she leaves for school you cry hard. You won't go to sleep at night without giving her a hug and a kiss. You always want to wear the same outfit as her. My deepest hope is for you to always remain best friends as your are now. 

This next year will surely bring about more astounding growth for you. In a few short months you will start preschool. I am so excited for you. I know you will love it. Most likely it will be me and not you crying as we say goodbye on that first day. 

Happy Happy Happy Birthday my sweet baby love. I cannot wait to eat pink cupcakes, play with balloons and open presents with you today. I love you to the moon and stars and back again. I can't imagine my life or our family without you. 

Now I'm off to sneak two dozen pink and gold balloons into your room for a birthday morning surprise! Here's hoping I don't pop any and wake you up like last year!

All of my love,

Mommy 

P.S. I am not the balloon ninja I thought I was. My efforts woke you up and I ended up spending an hour laying in your crib with you snuggling you back to sleep. Did you really need me in there? No. But there is no where else I would have rather been.