Reflections on Summer
Last night we went to an outdoor movie night. Picnic dinner, blanket on the grass, all the popcorn the girls could eat. As the sun set and the temperature dropped we all shivered in our light denim jackets and sandals. This morning the chill outside called for a sweatshirt. Summer is officially coming to a close and I am sad to see it go. After a dark and depressing spring this summer was a window of respite. While not what we had originally planned and expected in many, many ways we were able to have a relatively normal summer us and for that I am incredibly grateful.
Just as we were determined to stay at home in NYC during the spring when the pandemic was ravaging our city, we were similarly determined to spend the summer in the Hudson Valley as we always do. It was and is important for me to keep things as normal and familiar for the girls (and myself) as our world turns upside down around us.
At the beginning of the summer I was unsure I would be able to create any fun for the girls. I envisioned a summer where nothing was open and we had to continue to stay home alone as we had this spring. Luckily, in our tiny Dutchess County community things have felt incredibly safe and we have been able to venture out and do more than I had hoped.
After months at home without friends to play with Hermione was able to go to 9 (9!) weeks of golf and tennis camp at our club. Entirely outdoors, with only 20 kids total I had no hesitation sending her. Dropping her off and seeing her bound up the driveway each morning towards her friends healed my heart that was aching for her. Sadly, Portia who had been looking forward to finally going to this camp since she was born was unable to participate. The age minimum was moved form 4 to 6 this year for safety.
While unable to join camp Portia still had a summer that far exceeded what I thought it would be. She even learned to swim! This was my goal for her and watching her confidence grow in the pool to where she now jumps in all by herself makes my heart explode with pride!
Knowing I needed a little childcare help after so many months without we hired an incredible, sweet, loving local babysitter for Portia and they quickly became great friends. While this spring proved to me that I can take care of my girls entirely alone it also reminded me that I am a better mom when I get some time to myself. Just because I can do it all doesn't mean I should have to. Having a few hours alone each day this summer has recharged and revived me after an extremely draining spring.
I spent a great deal of time this summer horseback riding. My second summer back in the saddle after a 20 year hiatus has helped me mentally in so many ways. The horse I have been riding it not easy, not a babysitter and it has really forced me to break bad habits, be totally present and trust myself. I fell off once and while it left me a bit scared, shaken and sore I have continued to get back on time after time. Hermione's riding has also greatly improved and I am so proud of her. Watching her learn and enjoy a sport that occupied my entire childhood makes me beam.
This summer Doug and I have had more time together than we have for years. Normally in the summer he is in the city during the week and the girls and I only see him on weekends. Having him with us has been a relief. He does breakfast with the girls each morning, bathes them each night, and is around to say hi or take a quick swim break with them during the day. He and I have also had lots of opportunities for dates together. Something we had been sorely missing since March. Putting on a dress and driving with the top down out to dinner with my husband is a joy I will never again take for granted.
As I begin to pack up my bathing suits, riding clothes and summer dress I can't help but feel anxious about what lies ahead. The fall is so uncertain in so many ways. For now I am just trying to hold on to the beauty of this moment, in the gorgeous place I love so much.
