Dear NYC, a love letter
I’ve called New York City, specifically Manhattan, home for 40 years, one month, and a handful of days. The gravitational pull of this place is so strong I could never stay away long. If I did I would begin to feel off center, slightly unaligned. Yes, I did go away to boarding school, and then college. But, I always came back home. Often. Very, very often.
When this city is in your bones, you need to constantly be filling yourself up with it. Or at least, I do.
I have my very own map of New York City inside me.
Every corner of this city is filled with memories. Sometimes I’ll catch myself walking down the street and look up to think, “oh my goodness I had my first kiss in that building.” Or, “I remember when that used to be the toy store we would go to after school.”
Just the other day, while taking my five-year-old daughter, Portia, to a show, I realized we were in the theater where my husband and I had fallen in love working on a show together.
My love for the arts was certainly born out of living here and it was totally normal growing up, to catch Broadway shows on the regular beginning at the age of five. Often I would see a Broadway show on a school night. Theater was a regular part of my life, not something special I got to experience on rare trips into the city, or on vacation. Being fed so much incredible live performance, from such a young age, fueled my passion and drive to perform. I went to college wanting to be a Broadway star and came back home a budding Broadway producer. I don’t know if those would have been my dreams had I not grown up surrounded by the arts
I love the sense of community and confidence living in my “big small town” gives me.
I never feel lonely because I am never truly alone. All I have to do is walk outside and millions of other humans are waiting for me. Growing up I was exposed to all types of people, from all walks in life, which gave me thick skin, taught me how to get around, and, how to get many, many things done in one day. Growing up here as a small fish in a big pond, also gave me a strong sense of independence and confidence. I was navigating the entire city on my own from when I was a tween, hustling uptown and down not the slightest bit nervous or hesitant.
In pop culture New Yorkers tend to get a bad rap. We are presumed to be brusque, rushed and rude. It is also assumed we all wear black all the time. My experience could not be further from that. In NYC, we are all in it together. Unlike in the suburbs, perhaps, where everyone has lots of personal space and moves around by car. In NYC rather, we literally live on top of eachother. Because of our connectedness to each other's daily lives, there is no room to be rude.
Your neighbor has seen you on your best and worst days. She has been in the elevator as you bring your new baby home from the hospital. She has held the door for you as you returned from your brother’s funeral.
While, I’ll admit, yes, it’s true those of us that grow up here do tend to grow up fast, but I don’t think that has to be a negative. Sure, I was buying wine coolers from the market across the street when I was 13. I was also waiting in the lottery line to buy $20 tickets to the original production of RENT right when it opened on Broadway!
When people ask if I would ever leave the city and move to the suburbs my answer is a swift and definitive “no!” I know that most people think family life is much easier in the suburbs but for me it is the opposite.
I personally feel best when I am in some sort of dress or skirt combination, unless I am going to exercise, I won’t leave the house in leggings. I just do not feel like myself unless I take some time to get ready for the day. In the worst months of the pandemic, when we were barely leaving our apartment, I found myself changing out of my pajamas into a sweatsuit each day. I was severely anxious and a bit depressed. My wonderful husband suggested I try putting on a dress and taking a walk around the city. “It might make you feel more yourself,” he urged. He was right. Even with nowhere to go, just the act of putting on a dress and cute fashion sneakers to walk my city streets, immediately cheered my mood.
There is no room in my busy NYC life for me to feel unwell or sluggish.
So, over the years I’ve cultivated a series of personal non-negotiables and systems to make life here with my family not only easy but incredibly enjoyable! I hope they inspire and elevate you.
THE ESSENTIALS -- Living in NYC has taught me a few things about how to feel beautiful and be practical at the same time. While my fashion sense has certainly evolved over the years, it has always centered around outfits that make me feel “dressed” while also allowing me to move around the city with ease for hours and hours and miles and miles, at a time. In my 20’s I used to teeter around the city in high heels but now I rely on a chic fashion sneaker to keep me moving through my day. My current favorites are these chic white ones. They look so great with any dress! Most days, you will find me in a layered look from LoveShackFancy, Ulla Johnson, and Sea New York.
When I leave my apartment, whether it’s for the day or for just a few hours I always have two things with me in my cross body bag A water bottle and a hard cover book from my favorite independent bookseller, Merritt Bookstore. My water bottle says “B*tch please, I’m from New York” on it and makes me smile everytime I look at it or refill it. I am a huge reader and having a hard cover book is like having a security blanket for me. I pull it out to read a few pages on the subway, while waiting for Hermione at dance class, while waiting for a friend at a restaurant. I am able to read so many books a year because I always have my book with me and am always finding pockets of reading time.
MIND/BODY -- If I can keep my body strong and healthy I feel much better equipped to handle the pace of this city. I’m very conscious of my mind/body health and energy levels. I make it a commitment to exercise almost every day and also walk as much as I can. On an average day I can walk about 6 miles without even trying! Typically I work out 5 days a week and far prefer IRL classes to virtual ones (although I do like running outdoors on my own). My go-to favorites are SoulCycle, [solid core], and a HIIT class led by my friend and trainer, Alan Filauro.
NOURISHMENT - Eating healthy, which for me means a plant-based diet, is also a huge component for me. Since my daily life is so full and I often do not return home for the day until around 7pm, I have stopped trying to cook for my family on weeknights. I save that for the summer when we are upstate and the pace is much more relaxed. Since Portia was born, Doug and I have relied on Sakara, for healthy, delicious, plant based dinners on school nights. Having the dinner question taken off my to-do each night allows me to bounce around the city all day with much less mealtime stress.
BE AN EXPLORER -- One of the things I missed most during the pandemic was the subway (yes, I said I missed the subway). As a born and raised New Yorker I know that the fastest way to travel around the city is underground. Nothing frustrates me more than sitting in crawling traffic, getting carsick while I watch the minutes tick away. An added bonus of the subway is that it’s built in Me Time when I get to read, and reconnect to my own hobbies.
GET OUT AND LIVE - I could not live in this city without the vibrance of the arts. One of the most amazing things to me is that I can be at home getting my kids settled at dinner one minutes, and 20 minutes later be in Times Square walking to a Boadway show. Living here, we have incredible arts opportunities that are all around and so easily accessible. Like me, my girls are growing up constantly seeing theater, dance, live music. It is so incredibly special. With Broadway roaring back to life I cannot think of a better time to introduce your kids ( or yourself) to the magic of live theater. All of my tips and recommendations for what to see on Broadway this season can be found here.
